A 2021 Covid Diary: Day 2
It’s 7 am. The heater is making a sound, that with a lot of fantasy could be mistaken for the beach. More than ever, I question living in Berlin. During a pandemic with the lockdown of all cafes, bars, clubs, gyms, the city seems to offer nothing but a post-soviet social housing jungle of cement to gaze upon. I have walked through the same river park behind my house so many times that I could start to give each tree a name.
Last night I dreamt about three things: First, I was in a small but spacious Mediterranean house. It was all white, and a lot of sunlight went through numerous openings in the walls. I was a guest, and the owners were kind people who cooked well. In the second scene, I walked down the streets in the small West German village town “Odenkirchen” in which I grew up in. It was a bit lifeless. A doctor called me on my cellphone. He was very German and pedantic but wanted me to visit his praxis to examine my body for inflammations. In the third scene, I was again in a Mediterranean setting, as it turned out, Egypt, Alexandria. A woman was standing next to me while we were waiting for a taxi. A taxi came, and the woman asked the driver to take me where I wanted. I climbed into the taxi and told the driver where to head to. We were driving along with the beach chore. It was a warm, sunny and calm day. I felt free.
A momentum lasted several months during the first half of the pandemic, where a deep focus rose in me. After being infected with Covid myself last December, something changed.
This morning my heart feels heavy. Salty tears are pushing against the threshold of my vision. I am crying a river. I cry so much that I fill this room up into a salty ocean basin. I swim in the deep waters of my tears; I swim and I drown and I let go; my body is tenderly oscillating into the dark depth of this ocean; soaking it all, drowning softly, giving up any control, letting all the salty-sweet water in to wash it all away.
This was my second diary entry.
Thank you for reading
Yours truly
Jabala x
